I Need You

My Dearest Ava,

I felt you so close to me yesterday and I really needed it. Your Grandma Shelia had surgery yesterday and that was the first time I had set foot in the hospital since I lost you. I was surrounded by pregnant women rubbing their swollen bellys and all I wanted to do was just let go and cry my eyes out. I stayed strong and it was because I knew you were with me. When I went to your Grandma's room last nite, I walked past a dark, silent room and I noticed it had a flower with a tear drop on the door. I just wanted to run in and give that woman a hug. I knew what she was going through all too well and it will always be fresh in my mind. Ava, I want you to know that you have changed me. Your tiny little soul has formed me into a stronger woman than I was before. I don't take things for granted anymore. As I walk outside, I let the wind blow through my hair without caring what it makes it look like, I stop and soak in the scenery, all of the these things I never did before. I thank you for all of this my little angel. More than you will ever know.
I Love and Miss you Everyday!!
XOXOXO,
Mommy