Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My Baby Girl

You know, here lately I am having a hard time accepting other people's opinions. It upsets me that people are scared to bring you up or talk about you in general conversation. You are still my daughter even though you arent here with us, so why dont they understand that? Some people just look at me when I talk about you like, "Arent you over that already?". What do you say to that? Should I just bluntly say that unless you've lost a child that you have no idea what I am going through or should I just keep quiet? All I know is that losing you was and I know will always be the hardest thing I have ever gone through. There isnt a day that goes by that I dont think about you. Right now you would probably be my little vaccum cleaner crawling around picking up every little piece of something that could enter your mouth. In a couple of weeks you would be attending your big sister's birthday party eating cake and making everybody smile. Oh, how I wish we could live through these moments instead of just thinking of them. I love you Ava so very much. We all wish you were here with us. Until next time, I love and miss you more and more everyday!!

XOXOXOXO,
Mommy

Don’t let them say I wasn’t born, that something stopped my heart. I felt each tender squeeze you gave, I loved you from the start.
Although my body you cannot hold, it doesn’t mean I’m gone, This world was not worthy of me; God chose that I move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul, what you are forced to face, You have my word, I’ll fill your arms, someday we will embrace.
You’ll hear that it wasn’t “meant to be, God doesn’t make mistakes”, But that won’t soften your worst blow, or make your heart not ache.
I’m watching over all you do, another child you’ll bear, Believe me when I say to you, that I am always there.
There’ll come a time, I promise you, when you will hold my hand, Stroke my face, and kiss my lips, and then you’ll understand.
Although I’ve never breathed your air, or gazed into your eyes, That doesn’t mean I never “was”; an angel never dies.

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